Sorry about missing last week’s recap guys. Not to worry though, I’m back to summarize The Laws of Gods and Men and thanks to one man it was a glorious episode. Which guy is this do you ask? Why Peter Dinklage of course. Once again he turns out a powerful performance, reminding us all why we love Tyrion. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if tonight’s episode doesn’t win him another Emmy.
Right. Lets get right to it.
Lord Stannis and Davos hit up the Iron Bank for cash. These greedy guys, who remind me of the goblins at Gringotts, mean business. Of course they were denied at first. But, Davos doesn’t take no for an answer. He stands up for Stannis and lets it be known that when and if Tywin dies, there goes their money.
Quick sidebar, how many fandoms can Mark Gatiss aka Mycroft be in?
At the Ramsys we see Yara Greyjoy, Theon’s sister. Making good on her word to rescue her shell of a brother, she and her crew infiltrate Ramsay Snow’s castle. But the rescue goes awry when Theon, who now believes he’s Reek, refuses to leave. A battle ensues between Yara’s men and Ramsay’s, which ultimately ends with Yara fleeing the property before hounds could be unleashed on her. The brother she knew is dead. Reek now takes his place.
Reek is awarded a bath for his loyalty and for a moment there I really thought the showrunner would have the balls, or in Theon’s case, the lack there of to show what’s left of his boy parts. But we get nada. Instead we get a homoerotic scene (not that there’s anything wrong with that) with Ramsay bathing Reek. So happy to be treated kindly, Reek agrees to pretend to be Theon Greyjoy again so that Ramsay can take the Greyjoy castle.
Now off to Meereen. Queen Dany’s not-so-little dragons are running amuck. Not surprisingly they’re simply doing what dragons do, which is burning shit up and eating the local livestock. Ever the responsible mother, Danny pays the sheepherder for his loss in triplicate. Unfortunately, the next request wasn’t as easy. Hizdahr zo Loraq, the son of one of the men Dany crucified, asks permission to cut his father down so he can receive a proper burial.
After a bit of back and forth, Dany agrees and Loraq goes on his way. Realizing that being a queen isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, the weary mother of dragons asks how many requests remain. There are over two hundred to follow.
It’s hard out there for a Targaryen.
The High Council is very aware of Dany and her growing army. But Tywin fails to see a problem. He thinks his army is powerful enough to best her. He shouldn’t underestimate the Queen of Meereen and her Unsullied.
Varys is up to something and it’s all the more apparent during Tyrion’s trial. King Tommen, who is quite the likable lad, excuses himself leaving Tywin, Mace Tyrell and Oberyn to oversee court proceedings.
Every witness called testifies against Tyrion of course. With things not looking good, in a move of brotherly love, Jaime strikes s a deal with his father during recess. He’ll go to Casterly Rock and settle down with someone other than his sister and have babies if Tyrion’s life is spared. Tywin agrees and adds that if Tyrion begs for mercy, he’ll be sent to live the rest of his days at Castle Black.
Jaime relays this information to Tyrion, but before he can do as told, a last witness is called. Shae. And man is she pissed. Falling into the woman-scorned stereotype, she gives the most damning testimony of all. This sends Tyrion over the edge. Infuriated by this farce of a trial, he does confess. But not for his nephew’s murder – for simply being born a dwarf.
One of the greatest lines to come from his declaration is to his wretched sister Cersei,
Watching your precious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores.
Now that’s gangsta.
The episode ends epically with Tyrion demanding a trial by combat.
I wonder if he’ll name Jaime his champion. Tywin wouldn’t want to lose two sons, now would he?
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