Last week, Tyrion proved he had bigger balls than a Great Dane on Viagra® by demanding trial by combat. Jaime wasn't happy with this request of course. He wanted his brother to follow his orders but Tyrion couldn’t stand there and listen to Shae's lies. In all honesty who could?
“Don’t give on me just yet.” Tyrion says to Jaime. He survived one trial by combat before with Bronn’s help and he could possibly do so again. Not if Cersei can help it, however. Her champion is someone bigger and badder than even Andre the Giant. She enlists Sir Gregor “The Mountain” to win the challenge.
Next we pick up with Arya and the Mountain’s brother, the Hound. During their journey, they come across a man whose village was destroyed. Mortally wounded, Hound teaches Arya where the heart is by ending the survivor’s suffering by piercing it with his sword.
Shortly thereafter, the victim’s killer, who is still after the bounty on the Hound’s head, attacks him. Affiliated with one of the men who threatened to rape Arya with a stick. Hound asks if the fellow is on her death list to which she replies, “He can’t be, I don’t know his name.” Hound asks for it and the oaf gives it freely, giving Arya all she needed to end him by stabbing him in the heart. She's a quick learner.
At Castle Black, not much is happening but Snow reiterating how much of a threat the Wildings are.
We then go back to Tyrion. Bronn visits his cell in flashy new duds and informs Tyrion he is to marry. This is something Cersei set up. Ultimately, Bronn doesn’t want to risk his life and won’t be Tyrion’s champion.
Off to Meereen we go. Daario, (who I keep getting confused with Cal on Orphan Black) is bored and needs something or someone to do. All he knows is war and women. Wanting a demonstration on how skilled he is, Dany orders Daario to remove his clothes.
Since this is Game of Thrones, there can’t be male nudity without some female T & A. The Red Witch is seen bathing while Stannis’s wife talks about her heretic daughter. I couldn’t be bothered with this scene to be honest.
By the way, I'm no longer on the fence about Michiel Huisman as Daario. He's Totally fine.
Totally.
Fine.
Switch back to Mareen where a dejected Jorah bumps into Daario as he’s leaving Dany’s room. Concerned that Dany has put his trust in him, Khaleesi reassures him that she hasn’t. She sent him to kill the masters of Yunkai. At Jorah’s suggestion, she sees to it Hizdahr zo Loraq accompany Daario so that the masters are given a choice to either join her or perish.
In one of three pivotal scenes, Hound tells Arya his brother burned him and that his father protected his sibling by blaming the injury on bedding that caught fire.
Out of sympathy, Arya offers to wash the wound and sew it up, since he’s adverse to cauterizing the gash with fire.
Things lighten up a bit when our favorite bosom buddies, Podrick and Brienne reappear. At an inn for some good food and drink, the chef goes into great detail on how to make a proper kidney pie. This annoys them. To change the subject, Brienne asks the boy, who we know as Hot Pie, if he had seen Sansa Stark. He hadn’t seen her of course but he informs Podrick and Brienne of Arya and gives them a wolf shaped bun to gift her with.
Nearing the end of the episode to the second pivotal scene, Oberyn pays Tyrion a visit. “It is rare to meet a Lannister who shares my enthusiasm for dead Lannisters." He confesses, then goes on to tell the woeful tale of when he first met Tyrion. It’s a heartwrenching story of how Tyrion was treated and described at birth. Labeled a monster, he wasn’t one at all. Cersei was. Caring very little for Cersei and still wanting justice for his sister, who was raped and killed by The Mountain, Oberyn steps in as Tyrion’s champion.
Finally the third and final game-changing scene of tonight’s episode, Mockingbird takes place in the Vale. The brat prince Robin has yet another tantrum. Instead of coddling him like his mother does, Sansa slaps him in the face after he destroyed the snow castle of Winterfell she had made. Baelish, who sees this happen commends her for doing so and kisses her. Eavesdropping, Aunt Lysa sees this. Simmering with rage, she calls her niece into the throne room pulls her to the edge of the moon door.
Baelish stops Lysa from hurling Sansa through the opening and promises he’ll send Sansa away. But of course that was just a trick to get Lysa to release Sansa. With Sansa at a safe distance he admits to his wife coldly, “I have only loved one woman. One. My entire life. Your sister.” Then with a hard shove, he sends Lysa to her death out the moon door.
- This is Sparta!
Since Baelish couldn’t have Catelyn Stark, he’ll have her beautiful daughter instead.
Ew.
Once again, Peter Dinklage reigned supreme here. He conveyed the sadness Tyrion felt every day of his life at the hands of his evil sister and callous father so naturally.
I hope Cersei and Tywin dies.
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