“Well that escalated quickly."
That was my response to the Oberyn vs The Mountain fight. I mean you non-book readers out there. Did YOU expect that? I sure as hell didn’t. Of course, I knew the outcome was possible. I mean, George R.R. Martin has no problem killing off characters, which lends to the show’s realism.
But before we go there, let’s recap, The Mountain and The Viper because a hell of a lot happened.
The episode starts off in Mole’s Town where the Wildlings make a bloody return. They attack the village where Sam’s girlfriend Gilly and baby are holed up, slaughtering everyone there – except for the Gilly and her son. In an act of mercy, Ygritte spares them.
Word gets back to Castle Black of course and Sam blames himself for Gilly’s presumed demise. But his comrades manage to ease his mind, pointing out that Gilly has survived worse.
Meereen is serene.
Those anxious to see Missandei naked finally get to. So does Grey Worm, who gawks creepily at her as she bathes. Missandei tells Dany of Grey Worm's staring and while Khaleesi grooms Missandei’s hair, Dany conveys curiosity about Grey Worm’s worm. Hadn’t he lost his pillar and stones to castration?
By the way, that’s what I’m calling a guy’s nuts and berries from now on.
Missandei and Grey Worm have a little chat. He apologizes for seeing her, but Missandei tells him, she was glad to be seen.
It’s kinda nice to witness a somewhat healthy romance for once.
At Moat Cailin, Theon nearly has a nervous breakdown while pretending to be himself. Still, he manages to talk the men into surrendering, promising they’ll be spared by Ramsey if they do. But of course the promise was never meant to be kept. Ramsey butchers them all and for this he’s rewarded with his father’s name.
Over in Eyrie, Sansa has to testify about the events surrounding her aunt’s death. She reveals her true name and also tells the council that Lysa was madly jealous of her and that she hurled herself out the moon door in a fit of jealous rage.
Looks like Sansa learned a thing or two from Margaery!
And man did Sophie Turner sell that scene!
With Littlefinger in the clear, it doesn’t take long for him to hatch his next scheme, which is for Lysa's son Robin to leave the nest.
Back at Meereen, we discover that Ser Jorah was a spy. In exchange for his information, he would be pardoned by the king. Ser Jorah pleads with Dany to forgive him but she’ll hear none of it and banishes him.
That scene made me sad. Thing is, the moment Ser Jorah fell in love with Dany he stopped spying for Tywin and has been very loyal. I think the pardon was sent to drive a rift between Dany and her most trusted advisor and unfortunately it worked.
Arya and Hound finally reach the borders of Eyrie. This should have been a happy moment for Arya, given all that she’s been through. But alas, life in Westeros is of course a bitch. Arya learns of her aunt’s death and bursts in to hysterical laughter. Of course she's dead! Who isn't at this point?
Inside the Eryie, Littlefinger tells Robin he’s to experience life outside the Vale and a new Sansa, clad in a dress of raven feathers reveals herself. Confident and poised, with hair dyed black, she's assumed the the part of Alayne Stone.
Finally the fight!
The Mountain was really no match for Oberyn’s agility and speed. But things go wrong when Oberyn becomes too cocky.
After Oberyn lances The Mountain in the chest, instead of leaving it there, bitch pulls it out and starts monologuing.
With Oberyn’s guard down, all it took was one swipe of The Mountain’s arm to knock Oberyn off his feet. Using what little life that remained, The Mounatin admits to everything he was accused of and kills Oberyn the same way he did his sister, by smashing his head in ala Scanners, then dies.
Tyrion is then sentenced to death.
With two episodes left, what will become of Tyrion? Does Castle Black stand a chance against the Wildlings? What of Sansa and Arya? Will the two be reunited? Then there’s Melisandre, who I’m glad was missing from tonight’s episode. She’s just gotta turn up.
Man, I can't believe this season is almost over!
I give tonight's head exploding installment:
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